I have not been able to bring myself to blog for sometime. I think to myself and wonder why? But I think it is because I find it so very hard and difficult to handle her memory. Not much makes any sense to me now, it like I am moving in a haze, stumbling around in the dark even though there is a clear path for me to follow.
I am thinking I cannot go on like this, facing routine tasks are now assuming a monumental struggle. Why do I feel like this, when would the normality I so crave for return?
Folashade Feyisara cannot be gone, her smile, her quiet spoken firmness, her dignity; I keep on expecting her to call me and share some new with me, to chastise me, to make a surprise visit. Her telephone numbers are still stored on my phone just in case and I have been known to call her numbers with the expectation that my twin will just pick up the phone.
Yes, the world keeps on moving on, the agenda has changed but I am still left with a gapping hole, the hole that my twin used to fill.
The Christian Pastor might counsel me with words drawn from Holy Scripture and express frustration that I simply cannot get a grip and my response would be: have you ever lost a twin?
I hope I will feel better tomorrow because joy comes in the morning.
Olu
ReplyDeleteGlad you are back in the UK.
I have not lost a twin,I never had one, so I would never presume to know the way you are feeling. I just hope that you can find some comfort in the knowledge that God loves you dearly as do many people around you, me included.
I now have the C.S. Lewis book, A Grief Observed, if you would like to borrow it (it belongs to my colleague who lends his books out)
If you would like to borrow it I can drop it in to you.
Rev Rach x
Rev Rach, I hope you had a wonderful celebration, am sorry i could not be with you. Yes I would love to borrow the book, kindly if you can, drop it off, God bless you.
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