Sometime ago my wife and I joined the local gym, we felt we needed it to gain and maintain a healthy life style. In the past the early morning jog (something I picked up from my mentor Revd. Gideon Para-Mallam) was my main form of exercise but with time it became irregular and I lost the motivation to rise up each day for a run around the block. With the gym, we pay a monthly fee, so there is every incentive to go regularly for our money's worth.
In recent days I have doubled my activities in the gym and noticed that my reward is a flatter stomach and reduced weight. I am getting there, but its takes consistency, effort and determination. In the same way as I process my grief, its like working it out, being open, feeling free to cry and to feel no guilt for feeling sad.
In the first few days after I lost my twin, I did not cry, was calm and it was only when my mother came into the country and was weeping at the loss of her only daugther that I broke down in uncontrollable wailing. When my mother arrived from Nigeria to Kent with my twin's children to join us she did not realise I was the one beside her comforting her, she was so overwhelmed with grief.
My brother has been strong and held things together but I do feel for him immensely for it was at his home that was the centre of grieving and arrangements, he was the one, with his wife that witnessed her final breath.
I still see Folashade everyday, not a day passes by without the repercussion of her loss being felt. But in the same way she worked out her salvation with fear and trembling, it is the way, the path I must thread. 'Shade, I miss you….
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